


Whedon'd!

by orphan_account



Category: Angel The Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dollhouse, Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Firefly, The Avengers (2012), Whedon
Genre: Multi, There's more to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-20
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-11-29 22:39:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/692332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki and the Chitauri have joined forces with other Whedonverse villains to take over earth. The world needs more than just the Avengers to save it now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whedon'd!

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a totally random AU where the Whedon characters all work together to defeat common enemies. So forgive me if some characters feature or don't feature. Or are alive or dead. It's just kind of who I felt like writing for. The whole thing's a bit random but I hope you enjoy it. I was on a tea-induced caffeine high when I thought of this.

“And...2 queens,” Willow Rosenberg said, laying her cards down on the table, “Done.”  
“Cheat!” Shouted Xander Harris. Willow turned over the cards, revealing two queens. Xander grunted. “Y'know, nothing's gonna ever convince me that you aren't using magic to win the game. And all those other games we've been playing.” He nodded to a stack of board games. Tara smiled and put her head on Willow's shoulder. Anya spoke up. “We should gamble. With money.”  
“Anya, dear. These two have won every game we've thrown at them. Do we really want to be gambling away?” Xander smirked. “Well, I suppose not,” Anya said, looking down. Xander pulled her into a tight embrace. “So are we done?” Asked Dawn Summers, Buffy's little sister impatiently. The others nodded. “Shall I deal?” She asked but was interrupted by Giles and Buffy walking through the door. “Buff!” Xander called, “Come play with us. Willow and Tara are kicking our combined asses.” Buffy smirked. “Well, I guess one game couldn't hurt.”  
“But Buffy-” Giles started.  
“Come and play too,” Buffy said and dragged him over to the table. But at that moment the phone rang.

Wolfram and Hart was unnaturally quiet. Days without business were rare and it sent the whole branch into chaos. Angel had to deal with phone calls from other Wolfram and Harts around the globe. It seemed it was quiet all over. And so people were worried. Were the undead planning some sort of massive attack? It could happen. They couldn't rule out the possibility. Gunn sat in his office, throwing darts at a board on the door, with his feet up on the desk. Wesley walked in, just as a dart went right above his head. “Charming,” he remarked.  
“Sorry, Wes,” Gunn said. “Just bored, you know?  
“I know. In fact that was why I came to find you.”  
“You know why it's so quiet.”  
“No. I was hoping you did.”  
“Well I don't.”  
“Oh. Sorry for bothering you.”  
“Okay. Keep me posted.”  
“Will do,” Wesley said and walked out. Gunn proceeded with dart throwing. As soon as Wesley exited the room, he saw Illyria right in front of him. “Illyria,” he said curtly.  
“It's strange.”  
“The silence?”  
“How much you care about the silence.”  
“I'm not following.”  
“No vampires. You panic. Vampires. You panic.”  
“I guess.”  
“It's strange.”  
“You said.”  
“I did.”  
“Right, well I'm, er, off,” Wesley carried on past her. She cocked her head and watched him leave.  
“Strange,” she muttered to herself. 

“We have a situation,” Fury said to the man in front of him. “I'm here to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative.”  
“That whatty-what? I'm a little busy right now. Beating up bad guys an' all.”  
“The Avengers Initiative. It's a superhero team.”  
“I do prefer my own company to others but I'll hear ya out.”  
“Good. Did you read the briefing about Loki?”  
“Some guy with horns? Yeah, I got my girlfriend to read it to me.”  
“So you understand why he's a threat?”  
“Uh huh. He's got a pointy stick.” Captain Hammer smirked.  
“And the tesseract.”  
“Gotcha. That blue-glowy thing.”  
“And I assume you read about his brother.”  
“The one with a hammer. Sounds like a pretty cool guy.” Captain Hammer started playing Tetris on his iPhone.  
“I need you to listen to me.” Fury handed him some folders. “These are the rest of the Avengers. Take a look.”  
Captain Hammer flicked through the sheets. “Green grump, Captain Tightpants, some guy with a bent stick thingy and arrows, ginger ninja like Penny and a metal thing. I'm leading this all, right?”  
“You're a team. Working together.” Captain Hammer laughed.  
“I could beat these guys into mashed potato. With potatoes. Potato-flavour. Mmmm.”

“You mean to tell me you want my actives to be brainwashed into fighting aliens?!” Adelle DeWitt said, irritated. She listened for a moment. “No, no! That is not what they're...” she trailed off and listened more. Then she sighed and hung up. “Topher, prepare the implants.”  
“Which ones?”  
“You know which ones.”  
“Oh. OH. Which dolls?”  
“Let's start with Echo, Victor and Sierra.”  
“What about me?” A voice came from behind her. Adele spun around to see the scarred man.  
“Alpha...” she whispered.

All was not good in the 'verse. Something was up and all the crew of Serenity knew it. “Them reavers have been awful quiet, cap,” Kaylee Frye said, perching on the side of the table. Simon looked up. “She's right,” he chipped in. “Something's wrong. Very wrong. And we all know it.” The crew grunted in agreement. “We just need to keep going as normal. This ship's stayin' up in the air and that's all that matters to me,” Captain Mal Reynolds said, looking at each of them in turn. “Now until something absolutely terrible happens, we keep on as normal. We gotta look after Serenity.” The crew was silent for a moment. “Well get on with it!”The crew scampered off, except River who remained seated in the corner. “It's funny,” she whispered. “Air's not right. Tension.” Mal raised an eyebrow. “I need to go,” she said and walked off.

Buffy picked up the phone. “Y'hello?” She paused, listening to the other line. After a moment she nodded. “Uh huh. So where do we meet?” Giles looked at her, curious to know what was being said. “Everyone? Right. Yes, Mr...Fury.” She hung up and looked around the room and gave a small smile. “Scoobies, assemble.”  


Angel put the phone down. Time to get the gang together. He was about to ring Harmony when someone burst in. “Right Angel. There better be some bloody work to do because I swear if Harmony forces me into her namby, pamby conversations again I will...is something up?”  
“There is work, Spike.”  
“About bloody time.”  
“We need the others-” Angel was cut off.  
“Harmony!” Spike yelled.  
“Blondie bear?” A voice came from outside the room.  
“Don't call me- nevermind. Just get the others.”  
Soon enough, Illyria, Wesley, Gunn, Lorne and Spike were standing around Angel.  
“We have work. Some mystical guy called Loki's planning an attack on Earth. He's taken something. The tesseract. So he's summoning some alien army to take over the world.”  
“Well I'm in,” Spike chipped in. “Anything's better than listening to Goldilocks natter on about pointless gossip.”  
“I'm in for some alien ass kicking,” said Gunn.  
“I'll assist you,” Illyria looked around.  
“I don't see how I can really help,” Lorne glanced at Angel. “Not unless we can get this Loki fellow to sing a few bars of American Pie. Something tells me that's not gonna happen.”  
“By the sounds of things they need all the help they can get,” Wesley spoke up. Angel nodded in agreement.  
“Where do we have to go?” Lorne finally said.  
“New-”  


“-York,” Buffy said.  
“Alrighty,” Xander pulled Anya close. “Road trip!” Anya smiled.  
“So we're all going? Dawny too?” Tara asked. Buffy sighed.  
“I can totally come!” Dawn said. “Right?”  
“I don't think so, Dawn. This is dangerous,” Buffy replied.  
“But I've helped before!” Dawn protested. Buffy shot a sideways glance at Willow.  
Willow took over. “Please, Dawny. You'll probably get hurt if you come with us.”  
“Fine. Fine! I'll stay here.”  
Buffy and Willow sighed with relief.  
“Alone,” Dawn finished.  
“Oh, nuh-uh. You are not staying alone,” Buffy looked at Dawn. “I've made that mistake before. Not again.”  
“Well who's gonna look after me?” Buffy paused and then gave a small smile.

…

“Mee-sa thinks Jar Jar sucks!” Andrew Wells held up his new t-shirt. “Isn't it cool? Jar Jar Binks totally sucks though. I mean his character is so pointless. The animation was bad, the character was bad and the voice? No, don't even get me started on that voice.”  
“Wouldn't dream of it,” Dawn thought she was going to die.  
“There were so many other key characters that could've been explored in much greater detail. But, nope. Jar Jar was given the screen time. And you know what? Jar Jar really sucks! Okie-day?”  
“Gotcha.”  
“Hey, do you like Doctor Who?”  
“Does it really matter what I answer?”  
“Awesome! Let me just get my DVDs.”  
Yep, thought Dawn. Count down the seconds 'till my death.


End file.
